2a Reflective journal task

Journal writing experience

 

Boud said “Journal writing can be viewed through many different lenses: as a form of self-expression, as a record of event or a form of therapy.” (Boud, David 2001 p9).

 

Journal writing has been an excellent method to practice expressing my emotions, gathering my thoughts and questioning myself on a variety of issues. For instant, ‘Why I decided to take this course?’ ‘What I am hoping to improve?’ ‘What I thought and learnt while I was teaching children?’ ‘What was that I felt missing?’ ‘How I want to move forward as a professional?’ In addition, it reminded me of my goals and my purpose of taking the BAPP course. Until I read over the handbook and went through references, I didn’t know I could also use my journal writing as a record of event. I found this most beneficial as a professional. I can record before and after the each audition. 

When I went to a musical theater audition, as soon as I sat in the waiting room, I looked around and started to compare other candidates to myself. A is prettier, B sounds good at practicing the same piece, C has good singing technique, etc. It made my heart beat faster and made me more nervous. Then I remembered, I brought my journal with me. I asked myself questions ‘Why did I want to be an actress?’ ‘What was it that brought me back to another audition?’ ‘What I want judges to see in me?’ ‘What is my strength? It helped me to clear my head and be more focused on myself. After all, all you need is one yes. Most of the time, I feel overwhelmed once I walk out of an audition. I feel this way due to my regret. I know I could have done better at certain things during the auditions. But, I often forget and make the same mistakes. This time I evaluated the audition afterwards. Firstly, my song choice was good but, when a music director asked about my vocal range I wasn’t able to answer her. I wish I would have written it down and memorized it when my college professor told me during class. I am definitely going to ask my current singing coach at the next session. Recording a journal afterwards reminds me what went well, what I should avoid doing next time, how I can improve, it gives me clear direction and helps me avoid making the same mistakes at the next audition. 

Journal writing has made me feel more comfortable with giving my opinions in last few group discussions..I am going to use it continuously until I gain more confidence in having my voice in public forum.

2d- Inquiry

My past 3 months of daily practices have been focused on getting ready to go back on auditioning. To be able to do that I made to do lists:

 

    First, updating my CV and head shots for commercials and theater

    Second, Getting back in shape as well as improving my physical strength; Join the gym and work out

    Third, finding an acting and singing coach to improve my techniques

    Forth, uploading my CV on various entertainment websites

 

while I was going through the audition lists, most audition roles were for Caucasian males. This brought many inquiries to emerge in the back of my mind.

 

◦ Why diversity (ethnicity, sexuality, age) in Hollywood as well as Broadway is still a controversial issue? I see more women and minorities on TV, but still in Hollywood or stages we still have a long way to go. In 2016, 70.8% of speaking roles were white, 13.6% were black, 5.7% were Asian, 3.1% were Hispanic or 7% other.

 

Also, since I was new in the States, I joined various actor, singer and dancer groups on Facebook. My cultural background instills responsibility in me as an international artist that the roles I partake in portray Asian society in a positive manner,

 

◦ Why are Asian characters all Kung-Fu fighters, loud and naive?

 

◦ What is required to change these stereotypes?

 

◦ Why are stereotypes usually portrayed negatively?

 

I believe it is important for an artist to identify oneself. One shouldn’t forget their unique background. One should find a way to balance ones beliefs and morals, as well as nurture positive work relationships. I hope I can earn an influential position so that people have no other option but to embrace differences and encourage empathy. I am looking forward to exploring more about different inquiries on the next Module.